Momma’s Little Helper

• Posted on 23 November 2022
• 0

Post-Thanksgiving savings; BatesRewards members get 25% off all* deciduous trees and 36L bags of EarthMix® Landscape™!

Thanksgiving is a great opportunity for families to spend time together.  I have heard it said that we are given family members to keep us from fighting with strangers.  Other holidays may incite a family brawl, but never Thanksgiving.  I don’t believe it is the ‘Thankful’ part that prevents genetic induced fisticuffs.  I think it is tryptophan. 

Tryptophan is a subtly powerful antagonism inhibitor.  Even the most sarcastic and demeaning clans are throttled by the slumber inducing effects of this not-so-paltry, poultry drug. Did you ever stop and consider why many people only eat turkey once a year? It’s not because they don’t like it, it’s because Rip-Van-Winkle-dom ensues. When peace and serenity prevails around the house; Momma’s Little Helper is in action.

When you are sent home with turkey-derived leftovers from Momma, she may not be all that concerned about your future state of hunger; she’s simply administering a cleverly disguised OTC dose of tranquilizer.  A dart-gun can turn a 5000-pound charging rhinoceros into a drooling, snoozing mass of flesh; a properly prepared 30-pound bird can keep an entire side of the family sedated for up to two weeks.  Momma deserves a break from all off the holiday clamor and fuss.  Keep that in mind before you chomp down on that next turkey sandwich.  I’m not saying she doesn’t love you, but she might be trying to administer, Momma’s Little Helper.

If you can peel yourself off of the couch, we have a sale that even a ‘less than fully awake’ mind can grasp.  All* deciduous trees are 25% OFF, additionally, bagged EarthMix® Landscape™ is also 25% off!  Japanese* maples are excluded; in-store purchases only. 

Note: Our new ‘Batestrium’, provides you greatly improved shopping; be the weather, rain, sleet, wind or cold, our new ‘connected’ shopping experience provides tremendous selections, in a more controlled environment.  You might just need to ‘walk-off’ some lingering tryptophanic effects.

Saturday mornings 8a-9a; “The At Home Show”, airs live!  Got questions? Click here!

David Bates

*excluding Japanese maples; in-store purchases only