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Cliché Clarity

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Cliché Clarity

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Fall football is here. It’s time for a refresher course in clichés.  Clichés are used so frequently in football we hardly notice them.  So let’s open up some passing lanes in the garden and air it out. You can’t take care of your landscape if you don’t go out and execute.  Even though it is not yet fall, you may need to get in to your hurry-up offense for gardening.  You don’t want to be forced to milk the clock for every opportunity to dig and hit pay-dirt.


You have a landscape design in place; this should be a chip shot for you.  Your neighbors have a quarterback controversy at their house, are lacking direction, and have clearly thrown their game plan out the window. You split the uprights. Going to Bates is a real throwback.  While you’re there, select a tree, and take it to the house.


When you ask about the exact location of the property line, a surveyor says it is where the football lies.  It all depends on where he spots the ball.  The surveyor and neighbors are marching down the field; this is the deepest penetration towards their goal. You need hedge plants. You want to come away with six here, but the neighbors are making plays on both sides of the ball and you have to settle for three.  Even though you’re playing with a short field, you really need to come away with some points when you’re this close.


You heard footsteps. It’s the neighbor. He’s knocking on the door (or did he ring your bell?). You’ve got nowhere to run. You’re out of real estate.  He says he stopped by to clean your clock, but he can’t stop the clock, so he takes a knee. He is slow getting up. He leaves under his own power. This one will be coming back…


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David Bates


*excluding Japanese maples and tropical houseplants; in-store purchases only


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